Self-Care and Conflict
I wanted to write something about the importance of self-care and try to articulate a way to heal both trauma reactions and triggering. Once triggered, conflict is usually inevitable. Of course, these two are related. If you have experienced trauma, you will also often experience conflict with others. I invite you to bring the conflict within first and then take it outside once you have all the information you want to transmit. Let’s identify trauma as any experience that forces you out of your center. Once you are Off Center, you will feel overwhelmed with negative feelings. A negative feeling is a feeling of anger that represents a desire to fight with someone. Usually, it includes a sense of being hard done by another.
The younger we are, the more vulnerable we are since we are developing patterns related to learning, and trauma is learning. As children, we create a coherent self-identity in our central energy system. We are learning to live in the center of a created self. Our spiritual being is OK. It is our personality, our mask or persona, and our lower self that can cause our destruction. Our physical, emotional, and mental systems develop and align based on our experiences. Our experiences often do not align with the needs of each of our developmental stages. When those experiences are overwhelming, they lack the bare essentials of support, and if the experiences are painful and even harmful or threatening, trauma results.
When you experience misalignment with the center as an adult, you are in a traumatic reaction. Something usually triggers this, but some are vulnerable and experience everyday life stressors as traumatic. Dysfunction can occur due to faulty physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual development. When this happens, rather than go out and “fight it out, ” I suggest you first go in and do your self-care and learn to self-soothe in healthy ways. Develop a pattern of self-soothing lifestyle with self-care.
Self-care starts with inner dialogue. Inner dialogue fills the space within with a proper internal conversation. I don’t go with affirmations, as they may not be true! But self-care dialogue is more like developing an internal loving, supportive conversation on an ongoing basis. Statements include “I LOVE YOU,” “I am HERE WITH YOU,” “I WILL HELP AND TAKE CARE OF YOU,” “WE ARE BEST FRIENDS,” “I WON”T LEAVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,” and “WE WILL BE OKOK.”
Next, take care of your physical body and your living spaces. Always have clean, natural products available for self-care. Take a bubble bath with pure essential lavender oils. Play 528 hz music for your heart or simple, beautiful classical music. Eat whole foods and homemade, simple soups, and while making your food, keep your dialogue going in the bath. Give yourself a facial. It is simple but mighty. Develop an understanding of nurturing foods. Realize foods with chemicals are harmful and impact your system. Learn to make easy homemade cake, pudding, soup, bread, etc., with all-natural healthy ingredients and keep it in the fridge ready to cook. Have salad foods ready. Use fresh farm-raised products as much as you can.
While you are in self-care mode, limit who you talk to. Do not watch TV or engage in avoidance activities. Take a walk in the woods or at the park. Ride a bike. Do something alone outdoors. Purify the water you drink. Look at the water. If it is warm, go for a swim. Refrain from spending time talking about the events. Do not spend time telling others so you can advocate for your case against others. Work on your centering and clearing up the emotional processes while creating a loving and accepting space within. Make sure to do zeolite cleanses for heavy metals.
Always be prepared to self-care by keeping your whole foods fresh and your oils and lotions clean and pure. Start juicing and do parasite cleanses frequently. You will be shocked at how much difference daily self-care makes in your life and centeredness. This is the ground of preparation needed to face your life challenges daily.
Once you feel grounded, centered, and in a quiet mind, ask yourself, what do I want in this situation with so and so? What is my desire? If I want to fight, what do I want to FIGHT FOR rather than against? Is it possible the other person in the situation does not care or does not want the same thing, or that the problem is not about them? They may not be able to give or do the thing I want. If not, can I accept that? What changes do I need to make in that relationship? Can I take on my desires for myself and allow that other person to be about their desires?
I must always first search out my integrity and self-honesty. Some things are worth fighting for. Is this one of those situations? If it is, what exactly have I decided to fight for? Once I make that decision, I can figure out how to fight for it. Do I care if my fight serves the other person’s learning and my own? If so, I want to approach the battle in a way that allows everyone to learn.
Others do not need to do what I want, but I can change and move forward into more possibilities. Once clear, I can ask for what I want and see what happens with an open mind and heart. Yet, I must always be clear enough about my process to see where others are, as their struggles are not about me. Realizing what is not about others and what is not about me is a vast process and very helpful when healing traumatic reactions leading to conflict.
How you eat, what you eat, your self-care, cleansing, vitamins, and exercise significantly impact all levels of your being. When you have more energy in your system, more energy is available for a straightforward emotional and mental process. Your self-care is your responsibility. A healthy lifestyle and Way of Being with Yourself is required if you are to move into higher frequencies and be less impacted by the lower frequencies others may occupy. Breaking the pattern of traumatic perception is very difficult since it involves the neuro system and the body as well as the emotional and mental systems. A strong relationship with GOD is beneficial as prayer, faith, and personal relationships allow you to self-soothe and feel loved and forgiven.
Don’t give up. Don’t listen to negative voices inside or outside about your worth, lovability, or anything else harmful to your well-being. Bring these voices to your relationship with the Creator and Yeshua to take it to a higher power. Children can not protect their development, but as an adult, you are responsible for everything in your life, whether you are ill or well prepared. We introject or absorb our parental voices and then act them out inside as if they are our own. It is also possible there are beings outside of our perception for good or for ill. Filling our inner space with a conscious, self-created inner dialogue fills that space with something powerful and will change the inner space for the better. Once that is done, and believe me, this is work, you will begin to feel better and have more accessible possibilities daily. Miracles will happen!