How To REALLY make changes in your life
Adulthood really starts when you begin to work on the will to change. Bad Habits emerge from childhood habits. Those experiences set the basic energetic patterns including behavior, thought, emotion and attitudes into place. In adulthood we can change and choose new patterns if we have awareness. Our energy system, our personality, our mask and lower self all impact our awareness and limit it. Remember, you are an energetic being that expresses itself on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels. We have a mask, a lower self and a higher self. The result is a kind of unity or frequency like a musical note. You can work on yourself by working with awareness on each level and impacting the whole note or expression.
We have to develop enough discipline to achieve the changes we want. This includes the will to give up instant gratifications that adulthood permits us to have. We have to move toward what we really want. We need to establish goals more suitable to the big picture. This means we have to have a picture of what goals will best represent our true self. These well-chosen goals will allow us to thrive.
Today, there appears to be an obsession with so called “sexual freedom” and expression. For me, it appears like an obsession. It appears more like a social agenda then a real struggle for freedom. It appears more like a sexual obsession. All of the chakras are important. All reflect important life challenges that must be met and balanced. Our energy achieves a unification of the whole when the chakras are healthy and not processing trauma. Sexual obsession probably originates with sexual trauma. Sexual Trauma occurs when outside forces demand sexual energy before the person is developed enough to carry their own sexual energy.
A balanced system is intelligent and life affirming. It is not obsessed with anything. Not sex, Not materialism, Not anything but a joy-full connected system that wisely chooses what is most beneficial and healthy for the true self. It is not cruel, rage-full, anxious, self-critical, overly mental, or emotional, or overly anything. There is balance and joy.
A balanced healthy energy system is not avoidant or afraid. It does not avoid challenges and will engage life authentically. It is not ruled by thought, or emotion, or addiction to physical pleasures that over-ride higher desires and experiences. It is not addicted to attention or outside affirmation.
By higher, I mean the chakra system moves energy upward all the way to a connection to all that is and the energy returns to the earth and this is grounding. Grounding means the person walks in the fundamental reality. The mental is used to communicate, articulate and achieve. The emotional is a source of information about what must change, what does not work, what is unacceptable and requires boundaries, and what is most joyful. The physical is an intelligently designed body we live in that includes energy transmutation. We transmute light we transmute information. We are light beings in a physical body having a material existence. I like to think of this as a simulation where we learn physicality, emotionally, and mentally. We develop into a synthesized spiritual system that can command the inner house well and as a result can master living a life that reflects the truth of our purpose. Good people face real life and death challenges. We don’t necessarily “get what we deserve” but we get a true reflection of a kind of life plan and purpose. We get an amplification of the fundamental learning we are experiencing.
The more traumatic and off- base our earlier life felt, the less we are able to use our gut-brain and our heart-brain to make the choices that reflect our true being. We have to think, think, think, and come up with solutions that don’t work. The mask aspect of personality becomes hard and fixed. Thinking requires an accurate “program”. You can not think better than you can think! Mostly we live off unexamined thoughts, reactions and attitudes. Reaching for comfort and gratification. Ethics used to be inherent in a child’s experience and learning. That is no longer the case. We under-estimate what is being presented to children in media and it’s agenda. Without a deeply based ethical system to develop the personality, the life will be negatively impacted as well as the community. In your night time dreaming, the car often represents your life. Your capacity to drive the car in the dream represents the way you are experiencing life challenges. Crashes reflect actually being unable to navigate your own psyche and physicality.
Coaching requires an ability to support the true self in another person. We have to be able to assess and read the energy system, the style, and the true challenges the person is facing. A Coach that faced many life challenges and placed their development first in life, will be able to support their client who is facing challenges. They have done this for themselves and walked through their own intense healing. It is definitely a life purpose and not a marketing strategy.
The challenge for each client is reflected in their current developmental stage and life purpose. Coaches must support a client to find a firm footing in the levels of their being; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This involves a kind of clearing and an operation manual that works. As we each become the leader of our inner house, we create new reality tunnels creatively that work for our good. We stop repeating and re-learning the same lessons and making the same old choices that no longer serve. A natural by-product of truthful self work is an opening to the higher self and the relationship with your believe in God.
Life coaching has a lot to do with the right support, in the right place at the right time. The right life coach can help clean up the places that carry pain and/or misconceptions. Then, a person can quickly move into their joy and feeling of success. We can all be afflicted by patterns that include suffering and self pity, self justification, refusing to look at other perspectives. Personal perception can include a deficit we ourselves can not see. We can all be self-critical and hard on ourselves in ways that do not support an honest accounting of where we are and where we want to be. We may have grief, trauma and loss that requires a process to heal and resolve.
Life requires we respect each other. We have to keep our agreements. We have to show up fully with a full flow of energy and with positive expectations for success. This sounds easy but for many it is just words. Sometimes we must end what no longer serves and become forgiving of our mistakes. We have to understand personality patterns and the ways these patterns interfere in changes we want to make. It has taken me a lifetime of study, service and show-up! to become the best life coach I could be. I am very grateful I can do this work all the way to the end! If you want change, and you are willing to master yourself, you can have it.
Coaching is not a strategy, it is a full on lifestyle that supports others. The life coach has to live what they support in others. They must practice healthy living full on and live in creative solutions. Everyone experiences challenges in living. These challenges begin when our childhood imprints do not serve our success in living. We get to decide what “success in living” means and this changes depending on our developmental stage in life. Every decade of life brings challenges. Those challenges are different for each one of us and is related to our functioning on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels. You can work on each of these in a constructive planned way that moves each level forward and unifies them.
Some of my clients take a bit longer to establish new patterns and to stop the reactivity they have been “doing” since childhood. We are meaning makers. We make meaning in our thoughts and we establish basic emotional patterns that our energy rides on. In order to clear and stabilize our entire energy system we require enough clean energy to run on. We start this at the physical level with full nutritional basics. It is my experience that this is not achievable with regular food and must be supplemented. I love the products recommended by Dr. Glidden to establish the vitamins, minerals and supports necessary to heal, grow and thrive. Dr. Glidden has a website where you can join and see videos on all types of systemic physical issues and what to do. He recommends the freedom health pak daily. zeolyte is excellent to remove heavy metals from the body. Parasites must be dealt with by cleansing them from the gut and the veins. They create systemic physical ailments. As you take your supplements your energy will start to change, and as you cleanse and remove toxins you will lift toward more light because it takes energy to get there.
Next we have to exercise. For those of you who love to ride, I use an electric bike to get lots of exercise and try to do this daily. Just a couple miles of pedaling a day makes a big difference. There is also walking and all the other things the body loves to do once the laziness pattern is broken. We must establish energy resources from the bottom up. The physical represents the body beginning place. I have worked with many people who are sexually addicted and basically use sex as exercise. This is truly a slippery slope leading to negative consequences. Addiction is a pattern established over time that creates a wave pushing you from behind. It will then drag you down out of your ability to make optimal choices in your life. It will leak energy from you lower chakras and create negative consequences you will then deny. Any pattern that becomes a wave wants to maintain itself.
When clearing up your past, you are looking at experiences you had and experiences that did not happen. Things that are omitted in your experience impact you. Events that happened impact you and the way you felt and the meaning your made impact you. Clearing up your past is important so you don’t continually re-experience the same perceptions and meaning in your life. You want to break free and have different experiences and emotions especially if your history left you with low frequency emotion and thought. This is easier than traditional therapy makes it because the confines of those models are pathology focused rather than programming focused. De-coding is easier.
Perception is a product of the functioning of your system. That system was created when you were primarily motivated to avoid discomfort and pain while achieving the satisfaction of your basic need for food, love and safety. You wanted to achieve these goals while also being optimally stimulated. Your body benefited from freedom, running, playing, imagining, creating while feeling safe and loved. In this world that would be quite an achievement. Most of us, did not optimally experience that. At the same time, most of this remains hidden from our inner observer. We can access it mostly by looking at what is happening now. Also dreams are incredibly fruitful in telling us the earlier meaning and experience. Dreams are definitely coded. You can learn how to understand them.
Our relationships tell us. Our relationship choices and patterns tells us. Like a dream they show repeating patterns. Over time you can understand your driving forces.
Emotionally driven people are often living from their bottom chakras while imagining they are in their “hearts”. The base chakra is about safety and belonging. The second chakra is about autonomy, pleasure seeking and sexuality. The third is about autonomy, identity and power. Optimal childhood leads to optimal energy functioning. The result is a balanced sensible life that allows you to see reality and work with it. Facing your challenges without addiction, emotional issues, anxiety, and imbalance.
Emotions represent desire. E-Motion equals energy in motion. Basically you can interpret your emotions with a code. Fear reflects a desire to get away; Anger a desire to fight; Sadness a desire for change; and Joy is a desire to LIVE. You can see how a joyful, safe, supportive childhood will lead to healthier emotions. Emotions must be felt and released. The way to release emotions requires a certain support for expression and release. Otherwise emotional patterns and attitudes even when expressed will not lead to positive change. so the strategy for doing so requires you are safe to express and you must learn to express without judgment and without thinking. Just sit in your circle and express your emotions allowing your body to release them. This will reduce tension and suffering.
Mentally it is important to work on yourself. Work on breaking habits of thought that are negative. Work on perceptual habits that keep seeing the same things in life. Start by writing a simple 3 sentence dialogue that you repeat day and night. Until you thinking becomes the dialogue like a song you can’t get out of your head. Thinking can not really multitask well. Use this to break the scrolls that your mind keeps replaying as a version of reality. Make the conversation direct and a communication like, “I love you”, “You are my best friend”, “I won’t leave you” and stuff like that. Just do it. IT will work. You will eventually wake up saying it in your sleep. That will be real progress. You will start to have gabs to freedom where you break free of your habitual perceptions and see what is real. You will start to have moments of unexpected joy.
Remember working on yourself is moment-to-moment self-remembering so you can do your observing and working while staying present all the time. It is an amazing process and it is very rewarding.
Spiritually it is important that the upper chakras open and you reach for something higher than daily life. Reach for what is most good, most ethical, most heart-full within you. You will begin to feel a spirit within you that only guides you toward good. First you have to clear your energy system of parasitic type thoughts and beliefs. So you work and you will see.