What is self-work?
Self-work is working on my self in order to break bad habits or patterns of behavior. Behavior is the result of perception. Perception involves thought that is often out of our awareness. In other words thoughts are “happening” within us. Different models attribute our thoughts to different sources. Some believe your thoughts involve more than just you. In my experience this is true.
No matter where thoughts are sourcing from, you have to be aware of something happening inside you in order to change it. Thoughts lead to emotions. Emotions are “unthought thoughts”. You can use your emotions in order to interpret what thoughts are there that are happening without your awareness. Emotions also reflect underlying desires. One system says emotions are coded desire and in their simple form;
Anger represents a desire to fight. This means your will be creating fights with your anger. The important skill here is to understand and notice your anger. What is the desire to fight wanting to fight FOR? Awareness of the desire to fight for something is basic to moving forward with anger in a way that will serve your life. If you are fighting for something destructive, childish and based on misconception, your anger will sabotage you. Taking response-ability for your anger is the first step. I am angry. Why? What happened or what do I think happened? What is the fact? What is the meaning I make out of that event or that fact? What do I feel the need to fight for in a positive way? Can I be positive when I am angry? If not, why not?
Am I fighting for my life? Do I feel threatened? Is the threat actual and physical? Is the desire to fight over my self-image? Am I fighting for my self-esteem? Am I out-sourcing to other humans my own feeling about my self? If so, am I fighting others because they don’t see me the way I want to be seen?
Am I fighting for my boundaries? What is a boundary? How can I communicate my boundaries to others in a way they can see what it is I am fighting for? Can I learn to fight in a way that states the simple truth to others without making them wrong or bad and without giving my self over to the will of someone else? Am I taking responsibility for myself so others do not have to? What are my demands on others that cause me to have a persistent anger and disappointment when my demands are not met?
What does my anger warn me about? Anger is a rich resource of information about my self, my experience, my perception and my own needs for growth. The more conscience I am, the more aware I am, the more skills I have to communicate and see others clearly the less anger is needed as the need to “fight” for something becomes easy and effortless and is no longer a fight but a simple map for the next step in growth. You are made for awareness, consciousness and growth.
